$640 Million or Lotto Fever

The odds of winning are 175 million to 1. And, approximately a 5% chance that it won't be hit. Then the jackpot could rise to One Billion Dollars. That's a big number. Of course, 640 million tonight; or about 270 million after taxes would be nice.

Ok, gotta admit it, i'm in for Ten Bucks. Spending the next 8 hours dreaming about it; and talking about it with friends is well worth the money. Thinking about what i'm going to do with my winnings. I'd have to start with family/friends first.

I've always thought of myself in terms of service (retired military), and have resigned myself to the reality that i will always be an addictions counselor, that is, til death do me part. I love what i do, and feel called to do it. Of course, with that much money, i could open my own facility, or maybe just work a little less.

This is a brand new blog, with very few followers. However, if you've got a need for some extra-bucks, give me a shout-out, i'd love to share (after i'm rich :).  Life is good, keep moving forward!

motivation & the ants

motivation is a funny thing, and imparting it to others is somewhere between tricky and impossible. i think sharing recovery and hope is a wonderful first step, but actually (providing) insight is impossible. somehow, addicts just have to figure it out for themselves. don't get me wrong; early recovery education, relapse prevention, and wrap-around support (family and friends) is critical, but bottom line the addict needs to decide to stop.

i was out in the yard this morning preparing for my annual "war on the ants." definitely a good time to be considering and talking motivation. without that, they'd definitely win. my yard would be one big ant hill, and i'd have in residence, the largest queen-ant in the world. but i will not falter, and i will not fail. again, i meet them where they are (the ants) and am prepared for battle. there are infinitely more of them --- i'm wildly outnumbered. but, i have brains and motivation.

suppose that's what got me thinking about addiction this morning. addiction is not much different than those ants. always re-grouping for battle, becoming a bit more powerful each year, and always willing to put up a terrific battle ... if i relent. the week continues to creep by, and i wish for each of you the most beautiful of days. Never Quit.

PTSD & ME (Acceptance is The 1st Step)

Posttraumatic stress disorder is an anxiety disorder resulting from a traumatic event. A traumatic event is something that's happened to you that is horrible. During this event, you feel no control over what is happening. 

Anyone who has experienced one of these life-threatening events can develop PTSD. These events may include combat or military experience, exposure to human remains, terrorists attacks, sexual or physical abuse / assault, natural disasters, or a serious accident. Following the event, you may feel angry, scared or confused. If these feelings don't go away or they get worse, you may have PTSD. These symptoms can disrupt your life, and even make it nearly impossible to function. This may go on for years.

Symptoms include flashbacks, avoiding situations that remind you of event, feelings of hyper-arousal, or even just feeling numb(nothing). These symptoms often then lead to a host of problems including; relationship issues, feeling of despair/worthlessness, employment issues and even physical illness. It's not unusual for those suffering to turn to drugs and alcohol to relieve these symptoms.

While there are many approved therapies and medications, I've found it most helpful to share with others in group. Preferably those who've experienced similar traumas. That shared knowledge of horrendous events is somehow comforting. Knowing that I'm not alone, and that together we can get through. I hate being awake in the middle of the night, but I know that things are going to get better. I'm still here, and still moving forward.

what do you see, when you look in the mirror?

... regardless of the positive, wonderful aspects of our lives, still gotta be very careful with how we handle that image always looking back at us. what and how are we remembering? early in recovery, lots of mixed emotions still play out daily in our interactions with others, so how are we thinking of ourselves? most friends and family have long forgiven, almost forgotten our missteps, while we continue to beat ourselves up. so why? let go of all that pain and suffering. you deserve much more.

living in the moment, and being thankful for this time and place allow us the freedom to grow, and be who we are. what is our way of being in the world? are we capable of sharing unconditional love? you should know that research shows that sharing unconditional love changes the brains of those immediately around you. it's calming, as it allows others to be more receptive and open. kind of a natural and healing way of being, that all souls gravitate toward.

very early in this new blog, with so much to share. i've missed these moments, and am thankful to be back. wishing each and every one a beautiful day :)

recovery is a long series of small ...

but courageous steps. relapse is not / has never been the primary problem. the problem is that we can't get honest with ourselves, and those supporting us. the reasons are many, but generally seem to be focused on our own safety. if i disclose to you where i've been or what i've done, you may no longer care for me, or love me. i realize that's irrational thinking, but thinking irrationally is what addicts do best. believe me, i know.

group this morning was wonderful, and was so because of the honesty and courage of those within. what a joy this life is, and this time in my life is. i'd suggest that if you stumbled across this new blog, it wasn't by accident. we can, and do all learn from one another. if you're still using, and want to stop, please get help. people really do get better.

i wish for each of you the best sun-day of your life :)

perfectly where i need to be ...

Cocoa Beach

... and, as good as the first day of the conference way, today was even better. learned a lot about trauma, spirituality and recovery. spent most of the morning talking about the right hemisphere. described by my instructor as, "in the moment, and outside of space and time." wonderful discussion about unconscious minds communicating with each other. good example; when we get in the presence of someone at higher level of consciousness, our own minds reciprocate --- and we may begin to think more clearly, and be able to formulate solutions to some issues that may have earlier confounded us. interesting for sure.

the afternoon delved into ethics; and while normally dry, we had a lively discussion concerning a variety of pertinent topics in my chosen field. so thankful for the opportunity to spend some quality 1:1 time with some peers. we tend to get so busy in our own lives, that sometimes we lose sight of the valuable contributions / and available mentoring that is / could be provided by others. nothing easy about the helping professions, but rewarding beyond compare. so blessed to be able to share, and learn.

would like to leave my new blog-friends with a wonderful quote shared by instructor.  "if you could stay in faith (in the moment), you would never have conflict in your life." doc ccn.

wishing all a lovely saturday evening, where-ever you are :)

all day talking harm-reduction ...

... as the first day of the drug/alcohol conference was a smashing success. enjoyed the challenge of other perspectives, and enjoyed being reminded that every human being is different, and responds in different ways to treatment. our instructor assured us he wasn't there to advocate, but rather to give us options in the care we provide. this brings me much hope and a little peace to my heart. it helps me to remember that even though i may suffer multiple setbacks with some of my clients, there is always another way. we can never give up on each other. of course, a text in the middle of the day from one of my folks announcing "100 clean days" didn't hurt either...

home to a backyard in bloom. may be troubles out in this big old world, but they won't be on my mind this evening. i love my family, my work, and my life, and am grateful for every single moment of it. tomorrow it's a full day of ... ethics .... life is good :)