i've been looking forward to this weekend for many months. i'll be attending a NAADAC conference, and spending the next two days with my peers, all substance abuse professionals. while these meetings are always full of new and exciting information, for me the true delight comes in the sharing of those ideas. the rooms will be full of hopeful, engaged people who spend their days out in the community spreading hope on a daily basis. what a treat to be part of those services.
the ride, route to get here has never been easy. many, crazy and destructive detours along the way. often it seemed despair would overwhelm, but sure enough even during the deepest desolation an angel would appear. maybe disguised as a friend or stranger, but always willing to help. so now it's my turn to give back, so i do. there are no promises, or sure things in this world, that's for sure. but, if we keep working, and keep the faith, things are going to turn out just fine.
group last evening was incredible. open and honest sharing of thoughts and feelings. stirring my soul in ways that at one point in my life seemed impossible. men and women down on their luck, and openly genuinely grateful for their breath. being a part of it was a miracle. throughout the years, i continue to move forward, and will never give up. yes, i'm "just passing through," but aren't we all?
i woke this morning to another blog spreading gratitude all over my computer screen. i'm so thankful for those who take the time to share. we are never alone. it's friday morning my friends. the sun is going to shine. my wish for you, is that this is the best day of your life.
Friday, March 23, 2012
Thursday, March 22, 2012
"the med may keep you awake..." my doc
the poison oak invading my face is slowly receding. this morning i
looked into the mirror and recognized myself. to be honest, any swollen face is disturbing to me for good reason. no matter why. so was a very good thing;
running my fingers back over that same old familiar and bony nose, eyeballs re-emerging through the puffy cheeks.
it's 545 AM along the most eastern shore, and i've already been awake for nearly two hours. thinking positively, it's fun to re-connect with blogger, as i emotionally continue my dis-connection with facebook. and as each day passes, it becomes more evident that i can never go back to the social site. just too much distraction, and not enough time in my own head. alone is where i'm most comfortable, surrounded by family and closest friends. and at my age i need time to think & act a bit more frequently.
i'll pay this evening, for my long quiet morning. sitting quietly in group tonight, my mind will be wandering through the abyss of wonder. listening to others brings joy and sadness, but gloriously always brings feeling. it'll be tempered, and i'll quietly and lovingly respond. the group thinks i'm helping them, when surely no one is being served more fully than myself. life is wonderful, if i let it be.
my life is in transition. for the past year, my thoughts(heart and soul) have been in the sunshine with the body just waiting to go. now, creeping closer and closer to the reality of the permanent move makes me smile. will be some sad things about leaving, but life has prepared me well for loss, and moving on. life for me always seem to circle around, and come back to change. staying anywhere has always been hard, and now is no different.
wish i could go back to sleep, but instead will head to the forest. the morning never lets me down.
it's 545 AM along the most eastern shore, and i've already been awake for nearly two hours. thinking positively, it's fun to re-connect with blogger, as i emotionally continue my dis-connection with facebook. and as each day passes, it becomes more evident that i can never go back to the social site. just too much distraction, and not enough time in my own head. alone is where i'm most comfortable, surrounded by family and closest friends. and at my age i need time to think & act a bit more frequently.
i'll pay this evening, for my long quiet morning. sitting quietly in group tonight, my mind will be wandering through the abyss of wonder. listening to others brings joy and sadness, but gloriously always brings feeling. it'll be tempered, and i'll quietly and lovingly respond. the group thinks i'm helping them, when surely no one is being served more fully than myself. life is wonderful, if i let it be.
my life is in transition. for the past year, my thoughts(heart and soul) have been in the sunshine with the body just waiting to go. now, creeping closer and closer to the reality of the permanent move makes me smile. will be some sad things about leaving, but life has prepared me well for loss, and moving on. life for me always seem to circle around, and come back to change. staying anywhere has always been hard, and now is no different.
wish i could go back to sleep, but instead will head to the forest. the morning never lets me down.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Poison Ivy, Key Lime Salt Water Taffy & Other Wonders of The World
The past couple of days have been fulfilling. Hard to say why I'm feeling so motivated, but may be chalked up to leaving facebook sixteen days ago. Suddenly I have time. Time to get busy, and take care of some real-life duties. I decided to start with some rogue hedges occupying the eastern end of our home. A row of green forty feet long, twelve feet high and eight feet wide. Professional landscapers estimated the job at two men for eight hours and $600. Now with all this time, I could save myself some money. Who says facebook is free?
So, Sunday morning I was out bright and early; worshiping a late winter's day and it's joyful sunshine. The hedges were intimidating. I needed a plan, and consulted my neighbor. Rather than go at the hedges from the front, I came from behind. A rear attack, with my long-handled pruning saw. Started low and worked my way up. Within a half-hour I'd not only completed trimming the first plant, but realized there were only eight to be done. They'd been growing for so long, and out of control, it'd seemed there were many more. So an hour turned into six, and soon enough I'd completed the pruning. Of course, there were also the vines. With small green, distinctly shaped leaves. Unfortunately my brain was not in outdoor mode, but rather still flat from a mild winter. With bare hands I'd removed the trimmings and vines that went with them.
Early Monday morning I awoke, and went out to the end of the house to admire my work. With the mulch down, I had to admit it was quite the professional looking job. I was very proud of myself and shared my pruning story with all who'd listen. After all, I couldn't post it on facebook. I'd taken a vow of abstinence. By Tuesday, I'd noticed a rash on my forearms, and late that afternoon my boss asked what was the matter with my eyes. Straight to the mirror, seemed my entire face was swelling. This morning, waking up I appeared a pregnant chipmunk. My eyes were nearly swollen shut. I was thinking sunburn or allergy, still defiantly ignoring the obvious. My doctor knew better. Took him a quick glance to diagnose --- poison ivy; and provide a prescription. Now, just ten hours, two prednisone tablets, and four pieces of key lime salt water taffy, i feel much better.
Suppose the morale of the story is that with the right tools, and attitude, we can accomplish just about anything. Some may argue that the taffy is not a tool, or a wonder of the world, but I know better.
So, Sunday morning I was out bright and early; worshiping a late winter's day and it's joyful sunshine. The hedges were intimidating. I needed a plan, and consulted my neighbor. Rather than go at the hedges from the front, I came from behind. A rear attack, with my long-handled pruning saw. Started low and worked my way up. Within a half-hour I'd not only completed trimming the first plant, but realized there were only eight to be done. They'd been growing for so long, and out of control, it'd seemed there were many more. So an hour turned into six, and soon enough I'd completed the pruning. Of course, there were also the vines. With small green, distinctly shaped leaves. Unfortunately my brain was not in outdoor mode, but rather still flat from a mild winter. With bare hands I'd removed the trimmings and vines that went with them.
Early Monday morning I awoke, and went out to the end of the house to admire my work. With the mulch down, I had to admit it was quite the professional looking job. I was very proud of myself and shared my pruning story with all who'd listen. After all, I couldn't post it on facebook. I'd taken a vow of abstinence. By Tuesday, I'd noticed a rash on my forearms, and late that afternoon my boss asked what was the matter with my eyes. Straight to the mirror, seemed my entire face was swelling. This morning, waking up I appeared a pregnant chipmunk. My eyes were nearly swollen shut. I was thinking sunburn or allergy, still defiantly ignoring the obvious. My doctor knew better. Took him a quick glance to diagnose --- poison ivy; and provide a prescription. Now, just ten hours, two prednisone tablets, and four pieces of key lime salt water taffy, i feel much better.
Suppose the morale of the story is that with the right tools, and attitude, we can accomplish just about anything. Some may argue that the taffy is not a tool, or a wonder of the world, but I know better.
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