"the med may keep you awake..." my doc

the poison oak invading my face is slowly receding. this morning i looked into the mirror and recognized myself. to be honest, any swollen face is disturbing to me for good reason. no matter why. so was a very good thing; running my fingers back over that same old familiar and bony nose, eyeballs re-emerging through the puffy cheeks.

it's 545 AM along the most eastern shore, and i've already been awake for nearly two hours. thinking positively, it's fun to re-connect with blogger, as i emotionally continue my dis-connection with facebook. and as each day passes, it becomes more evident that i can never go back to the social site. just too much distraction, and not enough time in my own head. alone is where i'm most comfortable, surrounded by family and closest friends. and at my age i need time to think & act a bit more frequently.

i'll pay this evening, for my long quiet morning. sitting quietly in group tonight, my mind will be wandering through the abyss of wonder. listening to others brings joy and sadness, but gloriously always brings feeling. it'll be tempered, and i'll quietly and lovingly respond. the group thinks i'm helping them, when surely no one is being served more fully than myself. life is wonderful, if i let it be.

my life is in transition. for the past year, my thoughts(heart and soul) have been in the sunshine with the body just waiting to go. now, creeping closer and closer to the reality of the permanent move makes me smile. will be some sad things about leaving, but life has prepared me well for loss, and moving on. life for me always seem to circle around, and come back to change. staying anywhere has always been hard, and now is no different.

wish i could go back to sleep, but instead will head to the forest. the morning never lets me down.